Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Secret Stairwells

by Justin

Yesterday at work, around the 3 o’clock hour, the sirens went off and the lights started flashing. A very computerized voice came over the emergency system stating the following: “May I have your attention please? An emergency has been declared in the building. Please proceed to the nearest marked stairwell and exit the building.” To me these statements are absolutely hilarious.

First off it asks for your attention. What if I say no? Am I then able to not respond? What if I am on the phone, will it wait till I can give it my full attention?

Second it declares an emergency, but does not tell you what it is. Is it a fire? Is it a tornado? Is it a bomb threat? Has the executive office run out of cigarettes? It could be many things. Holly said maybe the cafeteria simply ran out of hotdogs. Could that be the emergency?

Lastly, you are to proceed to the nearest marked stairwell. That implies that there are unmarked stairwells. This intrigues me, secret stairwells in the building? Where do they go? How do you become an insider into these passages? If they don’t exit the building, why exactly have we built them? I am now on a new quest for secret stairwells.

All of this and it was 103 outside. We were told it wasn’t a drill, and it sure didn’t last long enough to be one. I for one think they sounded the alarm on being out of hotdogs a little prematurely. Wal-mart is around the corner, you know!

21 comments:

Viki said...

The fact that it wasn't a drill doesn't really rule out somebody pulling the fire alarm, or leaving their popcorn in the microwave for too long. People you work with seem to have a sense of humor though, so the hot dog theory is a good one - that's like running out of pretzels at Germanfest!

H Noble said...

Or even worse, running out of beer at Germanfest. Oh like that would ever happen ;)

Viki said...

People would riot!

TreyJ said...

Let me know when you find these hidden, unmarked stairs. They probably lead to something really cool!

And no beer at German fest....bad, bad, bad.

H Noble said...

I told him if they didn't announce the emergency, he might opt for his own type of security. For example, whip out your handy-dandy Trapper Keeper and hold it over your head while you crouch in front of your locker. They didn't say it wasn't a tornado, now did they?
H

Abbey said...

Justin, just be glad you don't have to corral 8 deaf kids who have turned off their hearing aids b/c the alarm is too loud. It's mass chaos!

I'll be anxious to see what the secret stairs lead to. Keep me posted.

Anonymous said...

Do you have tetanus stairs at SWA? Maybe the secret stairs are sturdy and germ-free.

H Noble said...

Jenise!
How are you?! Have you come to blog world with us? That would be fabulous!
H

H Noble said...

I know some of you other guys are reading this too (aka Courtney, Reeba, Vicki) you can comment too. It is time to break radio silence here.

Thanks Jenise! No I haven't found any tetanus stairs, but I will continue the search.

aimee said...

Holly! Trapper Keepers!! Oh I haven't thought about those in years! Do they still have those (or do they still call them that?) Love it!
And Justin, hilarious as always! I am so sorry it is hot there. It finally cooled down to a nice 95 (plus humidity) here.

aimee said...

Oh, and thanks you two for the anniversary wishes!

Viki said...

Time to break the radio silence? I posted already, unless you mean another Vicki - I'm Viki, no C anyway...

H Noble said...

It is another Vicki, Viki! At least I can keep you seperate this way. Are you kidding, you are Star Blogger! Star Bloggers don't have radio silence!

Anonymous said...

I'm only in the blogging world as a commentator - and a newbie at that. No time for anything else. Besides, I'd spend too much time editing and grammer checking to get anything written!

H Noble said...

I am sure you can tell I am missing my grammer checker. Holly is an excellent grammer checker and spell checker, however we often post without the other person's knowledge or direct review. After the fact grammer checking is painful. ;)

For those of you who don't know Jenise and I worked together at TTU and UTSouthwestern. We were in the habit of checking each other 'high profile' emails and wording in reports for grammer and 'tones'. It became quite fun and entertaining.

H Noble said...

Oh and thanks for breaking 'radio silence'. Now you have to keep the comments coming. I agree that you might be too busy for Bloging. You are like a ingle Trey and Viki combined. Crazy girl!

Speaking of 'Radio Silence'. Are the Rydell's in the house? You said you were offended at one of my posts. Why not bring it out here. Rally your troops, if you dare ;)

Yah I am throwing down..right here...

H Noble said...

Okay:
Justin, if you misspell grammar one more time, I'm coming after you!

Rydells, you mean you've been reading this stuff and not commenting?! What gives?

Aimee, I don't know if they still make Trapper Keepers, but so sad if they don't. Anyone up for Napolean Dynamite? :)
H

Scott said...

After reading all the comments I forgot what i was going to say! Oh ya, what was the emergancy?

H Noble said...

We never found out.

Viki said...

Being the world's grammar checker can be tough. Most of the time I just bite my tongue, so to speak, to avoid nagging people. However, if anyone would ever like grammar help, in a blog or elsewhere, you know how to get ahold of me...

ArmandII said...

If you find one you have to tell me about it bro. I am going to make our stairwell to the basement a hidden one. That is when I get the time and energy...oh and when you draft up a design for me. :-)

Kilroy was here!