Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Here's Where I Am

By Holly

Although Justin has set the bar pretty high for this new year, I will try to be just as sensitive and gracious in my own soul-searching.

I ended 2006 in a tailspin, not knowing where December had gone. I spent 2 ½ weeks on a federal jury 40 miles from my home, which was both intriguing and exhausting. I am thankful for the experience, and for the kind judge and security officers, but I wish that it had come at a different time of year. You see, it lasted from December 4th to the 20th, causing me to miss out on the usual languishing in Christmas joy that I usually partake in. I don’t want to start out the year complaining; I did enough of that last year. I just hope that I can recover from the anxiety and caffeine-induced high that I was on, before it truly takes its toll on me.

So as I look forward to this season of both physical and emotional renewal, I have spent a good deal of time, as Justin has, contemplating what is truly important in my life. We have made a few observations/decisions/commitments together, but I want to share today my personal ones. Bear with me, as I do best with lists (you understand, Aimee!).

1. I need to simplify my life. This means limiting my church, social, financial, emotional commitments. I feel that the things of my life are all important and good, but too much of a good thing can still wear you down and distract you from your focus, mine being my relationship with God, and my marriage.

2. I want to be a more positive person. While our society as a whole, and me in particular, appreciate both sarcasm and good-natured ribbing, I do not feel that they are the most appropriate or Godly of ways of personal interaction. This said, I aim to use my posts on our blog to be either informative or reflective. Disclaimer: if you find me gossiping or tearing down someone’s character, please call me on it. I want to know.

3. I want to recognize and appreciate the blessings in my life. There are issues in all of our lives that seem to consume us and overtake any other semblance of thankfulness for the lesser items around us. While these issues are important and will not be neglected, they do not need to take precedence every hour of every day. This may be my hardest battle, and yes, I’m leaving it vague intentionally.

So that seems to be my short list for now. I won’t apologize for the somber mood, but will say that’s where I’m at today. And I will leave you with one last piece of food for thought…

My friend is having her baby today, her baby that has cleft lip and palate. This should be a time of celebration and extreme joy, however it is filled with anxiety, nervousness, fear, sadness, anger, frustration, helplessness. I could go on and on, and I won’t pretend to know what she and her husband are experiencing. I just tell you this to help you reflect on your own lives, to think about your own blessings and to thank God for what you do or do not have.

Happy New Year to you all and many wishes for happiness for you.

4 comments:

Viki said...

Holly - I spent a lot of time in December what had happened to you guys, now I know. I'm glad that your jury experience is over, and that you got to renew/reflect over the holidays.

On your list I know how you feel on these...1 is a constant struggle for me. I also find myself giving myself daily reminders on #3 - whenever I'm sad about something I think about how fortunate I am in general, something that's especially easy to do when I pass at least 10 homeless people on my way from the train station to my office every morning.

On 2 - this is something that many of my friends have been talking about - having gone through my own purging of negativity some time ago, I found that one of the most important things you can do is to limit your time in contact with very negative people.

Sorry I just realized this all sounds preachy - didn't mean to do that, just to let you know I hear ya'.

Best wishes to your friend and her husband - I know that there are surguries and things that can be done for cleft palates. I'll pray for em'.

H Noble said...

Thanks for the support and the prayers. I'm sure they appreciate all they can get.

A sidenote that I forgot in my post: I was reminded in a Bible study last fall that you are not responsible for anyone else's actions, just your own actions and your reactions. I'm trying to keep that in mind...

H

aimee said...

Holly, what a wonderful list! Really, those are things we all need to work on (especially #3 for me).

I am sorry you missed out on celebrating Christmas. And I am glad that you are trying to simplify your life. Too much can cause a lot of strife. I have seen it happen to many close people in my life.

I love you and I think you are a beautiful friend!

I will keep your friends in my prayers.

TheLudlows said...

A federal jury. I when I have to decide the fate of someone in traffic court- I can't imagine the difficulty that a big time trial would bring!
It's interesting how having to decide someone elses fate will make you reexamine your own actions.
Blessings!
Charissa