Corporate America

For this installment of Justin's "Catch This" we will laugh at Holly's employer. Holly works for the quintessential corporate America company. Really, you should ask her. They send out memos detailing what is acceptable for your "holiday season celebration". She attends hours of training built around a fictitious family on their journey through "insurance land" or something equally as quirky. They have a lady who gets really mad if you unplug your phone to move it on your desk. She WILL call you. If you want to move your monitor you need to call the central support desk and they will send a guy to do it.

However...

Today's installment takes the cake. Holly has recently started working from home. As part of this we were going to get a second line so that she could keep her "business" calls separate. I'll spare you the details, but the monthly cost of the phone line was not worth it compared to the ONE phone call she receives a month. The best part is that she received an email today confirming her sign up for a two hour training class on how to use her new phone that they shipped to our house.

TWO HOURS FRIENDS...
To learn how to use a phone. Seriously? This brings to mind several questions. First, how on earth could you not know how to use a phone. This isn't rocket science. It isn't the most up-to-date, solve the world's problems type of phone. It doesn't even ring if Batman calls. Second, who teaches this class and how do they have any sense of value whatsoever?

"What do you do you do for a living?"
"Oh I teach people how to use their office phones."
"Is that a difficult concept to grasp."
"Well you have to go over what to do in case Batman calls. After that it is pretty easy."
"Oh, thanks."

Besides the phone thing, it gets better. As part of coming home they shipped Holly a docking station for her laptop. They shipped a very expensive wide screen monitor. They shipped a new keyboard. Do you know what they didn't ship? A mouse. When she inquired of tech support why they didn't ship a mouse, they informed her that they didn't ship mice. She would have to drive to Richardson to pick it up.

Now wait. They would ship a $300+ monitor, a new docking station, even a keyboard but not a mouse? I was dumb founded. Of all the assets you want to ensure that a real person receives you care about a $10 mouse. I laughed for days.

So ship your TPS reports to Holly. Just be sure to use the correct cover page, lest you didn't get the memo...

Okay I will get you another copy of the memo.