Everyone Graduates!

By Justin

Kindergarten graduations...When did this become a standard of our society?  I didn't graduate from kindergarten.  In fact I only went half a day.  Maybe I need to start over.  But honestly Kindergarten graduations make no sense to me.  What did you accomplish?  You completed a year of school that isn't required (in Texas).  Who came up with this?  And now we have robes and ceremonies and cookies and punch.  Oh and pictures.  Don't forget the pictures.  

I have also heard of middle school graduation.  Seriously?  This is getting even more crazy.  What are you celebrating?  Congratulations you still have five or six more years to go.  Oh and you get to 'graduate' to Junior High where bullying and puberty will be oh so much fun.  

High School graduation is odd enough.  Whew you are done, but if you are smart you really aren't done.  So live it up for a night, cause in about three months you start at the bottom of the pool again.  And to show our immense intelligence on this day, what do we do?  Throw our hats with four pointy objects into the air.  Guess we didn't listen in Science class.  What goes up, must come down (eventually approaching terminal velocity). 

College graduation.  Now that is a reason to celebrate.  You are done with your formal education.  You get to join the work force and pay for the baby boomers to retire and have health care.  You are a 'contributing member of society'.  Now go forth and conquer.  But please don't conquer too fast, I don't need some young go getter to take my job.